1. |
i will cry
01:02
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i will cry
i will wince
i will be afraid
i will hesitate
i will doubt
i will pout
i will take my time
and figure it out
i will not
abandon myself
i will stay the course
til i get reborn
i will laugh
when it's all said and done
i want to let myself be weak
sometimes it's just what i need
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2. |
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waiting for your email
but it never comes
i don't know what made me think
i'd see you more than once
but when we were talking
it felt like something was finally free
and i don't know if it was real
or just what i wanted to believe
throwing puzzles back and forth
inside my tired head
i don't care
it's all right
it's not like this is the end of my life, but
i'm just tired of chasing
all of the brightly colored cars
i would rather stand in place
staring up at the stars
and pretend like i don't
need somebody
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3. |
bus song
01:38
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i am on the bus
i will ride it all day
up until it's dark
just around in circles
i don't have friends
i just have my bus friends
but we never talk
cause no one talks to each other on the bus
i wake up in the morning and i walk outside
step on the bus and go for a ride
get off, go to work, get back on the bus
and go home
now it's dark
and the stars
are all shining bright
maybe i'd go for a walk
if there was a park nearby
but it's raining
and i walk toward the riverside
i don't need anything in my life
i don't need anything
maybe everybody on the bus
feels the way i do
maybe if i was feeling more poetic
i'd write this as a haiku
maybe i'll get old
and i'll die alone
or maybe i'll get back on the bus
and go home
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4. |
wolves
03:31
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in the darkness
a pair of eyes
torn apart
by ravenous wolves
i am not
your piece of meat
in the darkness
something huge and beautiful
is asleep
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5. |
in flight
02:42
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when i was alive
what did it mean to be
walking through the city?
i didn't see the cars
following as they
passed away
but i want to be
the kind of person
you can trust in easily
i want to do
the kind of things that
let you put your trust
in other people too
when i was in flight
i didn't need to be
everything that i could see
i didn't need the charge
of staying in that place
day after day
but i want to fly
i want to let the lights pass through me
and come out the other side
i want to see
i want to sit right here
and let the clouds
just pass right over me
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6. |
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i need a friend
someone who i can rely on
to take me away from this body
to make me feel good in my body
cause i can't pretend
that i feel like anybody
cause it hurts so much to be in this body
i know i can
rely on you
to distract me from what
i'm going through
and i don't think i need
much else from you
than to be a blank screen
i can project things onto
i need a home
i need my body
to feel like home
cause it hurts so much to be in this body
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7. |
not 2 follow u
02:11
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the cards are on the table
the choice is not to follow you
just to be alone with myself
can i become somebody else?
do i have to understand the things you do?
it maybe matters less once i follow through
and i walk
the light is falling off the day
the leaves are brown
the world is gray
we wanted more than we could ask for
we wanted more than we could take
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8. |
dead eyes
02:51
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dead eyes
what made you forget
how to be alive?
i can't remember how to be
the kind of person that i am
my eyes are glazing over wide
but it's all just a little too true
again
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9. |
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the pain will never end!!!
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10. |
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i'm tired of always
getting run down
getting myself down
spinning in circles in my head
down
round and round
i'm always hiding
hiding my face
running in circles
or running in place
and what do i get
for all my uncertainty?
inside my veins
a new breed of me
i'm running away
did you want to
sort of stay?
running around this town
for long enough
and i can see
what it was i found before
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11. |
waterfall
03:23
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now it comes down
like the way it rained
in time we could all look back
and play a different game
did it feel like something
changed inside?
when you walked back the way you came
and didn't try to hide
ended up looking back
toward the waterfall
giant rush out of
a tiny little crack
you could almost taste the
subtle slip
when our arms they met
but hands could no longer grip
into the dark
where the wolves like to play
and they rest in the day
we could no longer stay
it was then
that i realized
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12. |
belonging (interlude)
00:37
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i belong to myself
you belong to yourself
we belong to ourselves
separately
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13. |
fear of a feeling
04:21
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did you see
the way it came chasing after me?
the sound of feet following feet through leaves?
the dream that i still wanted to believe?
i know
that i have no control
didn't want to feel dirty
didn't want to feel clumsy
didn't want to feel like a bad person
didn't want to feel lonely
didn't want to feel dirty
didn't want to feel ugly
didn't want to feel like a bad person
didn't want to feel alone
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14. |
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there's a hole in my heart
chakra
it's big and wide and deep
is there a hole in your heart
chakra?
maybe we could find some connectivity
i love to share
the emptiness with you, babe
cause the hole is not a
waiting room or death grave
it's a portal
for the cosmos
to feel itself through
is there a hole in your heart
chakra?
where the ghosts of love fly in and out
just like the hole in my heart
chakra
this feels so real
beyond a shadow of a doubt
what magic
the hollows in our hearts
turned into cannons
shooting fireworks in the dark
this passion
makes me feel brand new
and when your heart is open
you can feel the wind blow
and when your heart is open
you feel the cold of the rain and the snow
and when your heart is open
you feel the highs
and the low, low low lows
now my heart is open
i found a real connection
and i never never never
never never want to let it go
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